Ends & Bits: Non-Fussy Pot Pie + Bonus Gin Cocktail

Refrigerator empty? Cupboards bare? Need to stretch the wilty remains of last week’s grocery run until next payday? Toss all those little ends and bits in a pan and make something delicious! This series explores the skill set of just “throwing together” a meal by looking at what you have available to work with and going from there. This takes a willingness to experiment and a bit of a knack for knowing what will taste delicious together. It also helps to have plenty of practice and exposure to a wide varieties of recipes with potential variations. It is in this spirit that we run our regular Ends & Bits series.

So I was having one of those days where nothing sounded good for dinner so I just didn't eat until I got a headache, realised I was being dumb, and decided I had to cook something. So I started with the advice of my old pal Carmel: Fry some onions. Just fry some onions and see where you end up.

I think this was original conveyed as a metaphor or life as well. Profound, yo.

So I started cutting up my onions to fry and realised we had bacon. Lots of bacon. "American-style" bacon even.

Spoiler: Australia does a lot of things really, really well. Bacon is not one of them. The "American-style" bacon my housemate found is an improvement. But... it tastes like the person who made it asked, "How is American bacon different than Australian bacon?" and then made it based off the answer without ever really trying American bacon.

 Anyway, I decided that the only thing better than frying onions was frying onions IN BACON, so I cut up some bacon along with my onion and started frying them all together and pondering what  I wanted this to end up as. About this point, I decided what I really wanted was a pot pie. Completely weather inappropriate to me, but it sounded delicious.

So I started doing a quick internet search for pot pie recipes and I was... underwhelmed by the results. They were all super fussy... Buy store-bought puff pastry and prepare it according to the instructions! Roast the vegetables first! Use only these exact vegetables! Then braise them slowly on the stovetop for four million hours! Make a roux separately and add it to the veggie slowly or you will ruin everything! Etc. And I just could not be fussed.

So I decided to just throw things together and see what happened. What happened was delicious:

Seriously delicious.

It takes a little bit of time to come together, but is incredible unfussy as a recipe. This is basically a "template" recipe--no strict ingredients, just vague proportions. (Thanks to Jules at The Stonesoup for the terminology of template recipes...they're basically the way I think about cooking.) The butter/margarine and some kind of flour are pretty essential, but everything else negotiable. Throw in whatever you have around!


Non-Fussy Pot Pie
Prep Time: 30-45 minutes
Cook Time: 20-30 minutes
Servings: 2

Ingredients:
(Measurements are so not fussy, but I used Australian Customary)
Filling:
1/4 to 1/2 cup Tasty Savory Thing: Bacon, Meat Bits, Chicken Bits, Mushrooms, Tempeh, etc.
1 Strongly Flavored Veg, chopped (an onion, a leek, a bell pepper/capcisum, lots of extra fresh garlic, etc )
1-2 TBSP Butter/Margarine, optional and based on what Savory Tasty Thing you use
3-5 cloves of garlic, optional but nice. (Or sub 1/2 to 1 tsp garlic powder.)
2 1/2 cup chopped veggies of your choice, fresh or frozen (canned would probably be okay too)
2 TBSP flour of your choice (or 1 TBSP corn starch, tapioca starch, or arrowroot powder--will be more gummy though)
2 TBSP fresh herbs or 2 tsp dried herbs of your choice
Salt & pepper to taste


Crust:
1/2 cup flour of your choice
1/2 cup oats of your choice (or sub more flour)
2 TBSP Butter/Margarine, as cold as possible.
2 TBSP milk/milk substitute of your choice (could use water in a pinch, but it will be less rich)
1 egg yolk (could use 1-2 extra TBSP of milk if you have no egg, but this will also make it less rich)
1/2 TBSP cracked black pepper (optional)
1 TBSP fresh or 1 tsp dried herbs of your choice (optional)
1/2 tsp salt
1 egg white (for brushing the top--do not mix in! Can do a water or milk wash if you have no egg or omit entirely)

Special Equipment: Something to cook the pot pies in--I used 2 regular ceramic bowls. If you don't have oven-suitable bowls, you could make the pot pie all together in a small casserole dish or baking pan. A food processor makes the pie crust easier but is not necessary. 

Instructions:
1. Fry some onions. Obviously. (Or other Strongly Flavored Veg if you're not using an onion.) Add your Tasty Savory Thing  If you're using a greasy meat like bacon, lamb, or cheap beef, just add it directly with the onions/leek/whatever, adding no butter or other fat. If you're using a lean meat, mushrooms, tempeh, or something similar, add a tablespoon or butter to fry in.

2. Chop the garlic and add to the pan.

3. Sort your vegetables by "heartiness." Chop and add any hearty vegetables--those taking a longer time to cook--to the pan now. For example: Mushrooms, potato, winter squash/pumpkin, carrots, other root veg, etc. Reserve any less hearty veg for later. For example: Peas, zucchini, cauliflower, broccoli, celery, asparagus, green beans, spinach, etc.

4. Decide it's time for a GINTERLUDE and make a delicious cocktail while the veggies sautee:

The weird-looking brown stuff is my homemade triple sec! It's awkward in appearance, but delicious in cocktails.

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White Lady
Because apparently refined, white women taste like gin and acidic juices.
Prep Time: 3 minutes
Servings: 1

Ingredients:
(Boozery Customary)
2 oz. gin
1/2 oz lemon juice
1/2 oz triple sec
Ice, for shaking

Special Equipment: Something you can shake ingredients in. A cocktail shaker if you're classy, any container with a lid if you're not, and a yellow plastic Tupperware protein shake shaker if you're me.

a. Add all ingredients to the container. Fill with ice. Shake vigorously for a couple of minutes--you want the ice to melt a bit and the cocktail to get nice and cold.

b. Pour into a super classy lime green plastic martini glass or other drinking vessel, discarding any unmelted ice.

c. Enjoy!

With this drink, I declare Operation Make My Housemate Like Gin a roaring success. I weaned her on gin smashes, and now she loves this drink, which is 66% straight gin.

 d. Stop this interlude and return to the actual recipe.
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 5. Check the veggies and give them a stir. They're probably nowhere near ready. (If they are looking done, you can skip to Step 8 and come back to 6 & 7 afterwards.) Time to make the crust!

6.
Food Processor Instructions: If you have a food processor, add the flour, oats, salt, and pepper and run about 20-30 seconds to blend well and chop the oats a bit. Add butter and herbs. Pulse 5-8 times, until butter is well-distributed and mix is mealy. Add the egg yolk and milk, and pulse 3-6 times until dough is well-blended and clumps into a ball. Note: The minimum you can work the dough, the better.

Hand-Mixed Instructions: Add the oats, flour, salt, and pepper to the bowl. Mix well by hand until well-blended. Add the butter & herbs and use your hands to mash the butter into the flour/oat mix into a course meal. You can also use a pastry cutter, if you have one, or there's apparently a magic knife-and-two-fork trick for this, but I don't know it. Hands work fine. Once you have the meal, stir in the egg yolk and milk. Stir to form into a dough ball. Note: The minimum you can work the dough, the better.

7. Form the dough into a ball and pop it into the freezer until you're ready to roll it out. This both helps it roll out better and gives it a better texture.

8. Return to the veggies. Give them a stir. They should be mostly cooked at this point. Add the less hearty veggies and whatever herbs you're using.

9. Prepare your 1 cup of stock/broth/bouillon+water. Drink some gin while the veggies cook.

10. Once the veggies are all more or less cooked through, give them a stir and take a good look at them. Are they a bit greasy? Is there a little fat in the bottom of the pan? Or are they getting dry? If they're a little greasy--prefect. If they're dry, maybe add a 1/2-1 TBSP of butter and stir to melt.

11. Sprinkle the 2 TBSP of flour across the veggies and stir. Keep stirring for a minute or so to cook the flour a bit. I call this The Lazy Roux. You'll roux the day you bother doing anything fancier.

12. Start adding your broth a couple big splashes at a time. Stir after adding each splash and let it cook for a tiny bit before you add the next splash. You should start to see a thickening sauce form. You may or may not use the whole cup of water, depending on the type of flour you used and how thick you want your sauce to be.

But seriously: It's not fussy and doesn't matter that much. If it's too thick, add more water/broth. If it's too thin, let it cook a little longer. I think it's ideal when you can drag a spoon though the pot and the sauce oozes back in the empty space created but doesn't fill it immediately:

I did 4-5 splashes, used the whole cup, and let it cook for about a minute once I added the end of the water.

13. Taste the filling. Salt and pepper to taste, if needed. Add more herbs if you like. Then, turn off the heat for the filling and get the crust out of the freezer. Divide dough in half, roll into 2 balls, and place on a floured surface (clean counter, waxed paper, or a fancy pastry mat like mine). (If you're using one large pan instead of two bowls to bake, don't divide the dough.) If you have a rolling pin or substitute (a wine bottle works well), flour it well.

Or end up sad and sticky like me.

14. Roll out the dough into a rough shape roughly equal to the baking dish(es) you're using. If you don't have anything to roll with, flour your hands well and press the dough into the shape. It'll be a little less even, but should be fine. You want the dough to be just bigger than the dish you're using:

On the right, you can see my crust just barely peeking out of the bowl I'm going to use to bake. Perfect!

15. Grease your baking dish(es) or spray with cooking spray. Scoop the filling into the baking dish(es), dividing it evenly if appropriate. Place the rolled/pressed crust on top of the bowl. You can either drape the extra bits over the edge or tuck the edges up:

Left: Tucked. Right: Draped. Slightly different ending textures. Equally delicious.

16. Beat the leftover egg white with a small splash of water. Generously brush (or lightly spoon) the egg was over the top of the crust. Pop in the oven at 425F/220C for 20-30 minutes, until the crust is golden brown.

17. Remove from oven and dig in immediately!

NOM NOM NOM!

For these pies, I used bacon as my Tasty Savory Thing, an onion as my Strongly Flavored Veg, beef bouillon as my broth/stock, fresh oregano as the herb in the filling, fresh rosemary as the herb in the crust, wholemeal spelt wheat as my flour, and a mix of about 6 mushrooms, 2 stalks of celery, 1 zucchini, and 2 handfuls frozen peas as my veggies. Delicious!